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joshuai
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Name: Josh
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Birthday: 5/20/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: playing the most rocking music in the world, rockin out to worship music, hanging out with my peeps and helping people believe
Expertise: If i told you i would have to kill you...
Occupation: Consulting
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/19/2003
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| So here's an entry bassically for Wess and Emily. I just picked up the new LoveDrug CD. My dad paid for it and that was my main reason for buying it. But I did choose it over Maroon 5. I'm going to go listen to it now on the way to Underground. Pray for us. I love you both. And anyone else who gets this. JOSH | | |
| Two entries from my lj into one:
This is to myself for next time I doubt. For next time I think that i can't give it over to God because it mightnot go right.
SHUT UP!!! Joshua, deep down inside you know you're wrong. You know that if you pray for the clouds to go away, they will. You saw it today. Don't worry about it. Don't freak out if something doesn't go how it was planned. It's not yours! It's Gods, so back off, and just be the vessel you know you are.
Tonight was amazing. I'll tell the whole story later (not that you all don't know it). I loved it. It was new, but it was awsome. I'm not sure I'll be able to talk in the morning. That wouldn't be so bad. My friends wouldn't mind. Love from me to all of you. JOSH | | |
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| I'm up and it's an hour before the ACT. I just got on google to do the only studying that I'm going to, unless I totally bomb this. (on a personal note, I used to be an idiot because one day I was all excited and was like "Hey, dad, I can spell Dumb!!!" He goes "Oh yeah" and I was like "Yeah, D..U..M...M! Isn't that good daddy!" Man, I was Stuuuuupid) I looked up Sine, Cosine, and Tangent. I guess Waseman gets the last laugh, because I'm going in using that stupid, SOHCAHTOA Indian chant. Oh well, I'ma watch some Saved by the Bell and maybe have a little refreshing water. Wish me luck today. JOSHIE OUT |
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| Today was hard.
I feel like I screwed it up for everyone. i couldn't worship anymore, and honestly, I didn't think anyone else was either. So, I said I wanted to stop, and we did. Then Tressa told me that they were all worshipping like crazy, and that made me feel bad because I feel like I took it away from them. I heard the laughter and it made me mad, so I left and saw Paula, asked what was wrong, said "Welcome to my world", punched the door, got Tressa, cried.....I'm tired.
I didn't mean to ruin it. Honestly. I just counldn't stand the sound of my own voice of guitar for a minute longer.
I want another door to punch.
And it was Tracey's first and Shcotts last. | | |
| Here ya go....
Listen to the
rain outside my
window.
It sounds like
hearts falling,
being broken
on the stone below.
Playing the role
of an easter egg.
Look for a prize inside.
They break, but
there's always
another one
to take it's place
until the heavens
are honestly empty.
Your heart is broken
then you'll get a new one.
Stand back from the
pain and look from
a distance, and see
if you'll really risk your
brand new heart
on this 2nd attempt endeavor.
4/23/04
Incubus Attack
The silence is screaming
at me.
I have to put it down like
a rabbid dog
because if I don't it'll
infect me.
With thoughts of murder
and perverting purity
it grows in volume
like I just can't get
enough, but it's terrifying
and It's only when I'm all alone....
It comes only when no one else is around
to hear it.
Listen close.
Put your ear to mine.
Can you hear the screaming?
Can you hear the burning of thoughts?
Can you taste the
sweat while my mind destroys itself with
a thousnad lumberjacks and
a thousand wildfires
and I can't tell you
because by the time I
wake up I can't move.
I stare blankly
like a blind child and wonder
when the next breath
will come.
I want it to be a dream
but how can I be dreaming
when my eyes are already open.
3/9
12:38 AM
A simple goodbye
written in not form
for me to transfer to
poetry just before
I break this.
And to speak to me
like that and to run through
all of your emotions
like a fucking merry-go-round.
Turned on high.
And have I ever told
you that I feel emotions?
If you say it, I'll feel it
and it was
hitting me in the face
over and over and over.
And you want one last hug
and I wish I could give a lifetime
just to make this hurt no more.
And to see you cry
in school and try to get away...
and I'm breaking....
I'll call
I swear it, I'll call
Just hold on.
3/25/04
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